I’m in a situation that’s tearing me apart, and I don’t know what to do. My best friend “Rachel” and I have been inseparable for the past 20 years. We’ve been through everything together—from high school dramas and family crises to now the excitement of planning my wedding. She’s always felt more like a sister than a friend, and I trusted her without a second thought. My fiancé, “Tom,” and I have been together for three years, and he’s always been nothing but respectful of my close bond with Rachel.

But a few weeks ago, something happened that I can’t seem to move past. After a night out, the three of us went back to my apartment to wind down. I was exhausted and decided to head to bed early, leaving Rachel and Tom in the living room watching a movie. A few minutes later, Tom came into the bedroom, visibly shaken. He told me that Rachel had leaned in and tried to kiss him. He said he pulled away immediately, and that Rachel quickly apologized, blaming it on too much to drink.

Ever since that night, I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal. If Tom’s telling the truth, then the friend I’ve trusted most in the world crossed a line with my fiancé. But at the same time, I worry that if I confront Rachel, I might be overreacting and risk losing our friendship forever. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, but another part wonders if cutting her out of my life is the only way to protect my relationship with Tom. I keep replaying that night in my head, searching for any signs I might have missed that Rachel had feelings for him.

Since that night, Rachel’s been acting strangely around me. Her responses are shorter, there’s a nervous edge to her laughter, and she barely meets my eyes. She hasn’t brought up what happened, and neither has Tom. Every time I try to work up the courage to ask her about it, I freeze, too scared of what her answer might be. I fear that if she admits it was intentional, I may never be able to forgive her. But if she denies it, I’ll still wonder if there’s something more going on beneath the surface.

Adding to all of this is the stress of wedding planning, which has only intensified the emotional toll. I can’t imagine getting married without Rachel by my side—she was supposed to be my maid of honor, the person standing right next to me. But at the same time, I can’t ignore this gnawing feeling that I might be overlooking something important. As much as I want her there on my big day, the thought of unresolved tension hanging over us is unbearable.

@scalingstories u/ThrowRA-pandechange My friend tried to kiss my boyfriend for TikTok views, and now I guess I can kiss my friend group goodbye because they’re saying it was just a “loyalty test”. Plus one update. #scalingstories #storytime #minecraftparkour #reddit #redditreadings ♬ original sound – ScalingStories

In my heart, I know I need clarity. I’m torn between addressing it directly with Rachel and just trying to move forward without making a big deal out of it. I keep telling myself that maybe it was a drunken, out-of-character moment, a one-time lapse in judgment. But the memory of Tom’s shaken face as he told me what happened is hard to shake. I’ve tried to talk about it with him again, but he insists that nothing beyond that awkward moment occurred, and he’s been supportive of however I want to handle things.

Yet, I’m left feeling like I have to choose between preserving my friendship and protecting my relationship. I don’t want to lose Rachel, but I also can’t ignore this feeling in my gut. I’ve always trusted her, and I want to believe it was just a mistake, but her recent behavior keeps me on edge. She’s not acting like the friend I’ve known for so long, and it’s made everything feel tense and uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, I want to move forward with my life and my wedding without feeling like there’s a shadow over everything. I don’t want to look back on this time and regret not having dealt with the issue head-on. But the thought of potentially damaging my longest friendship fills me with dread.

So, Judy, what do I do? Do I confront Rachel and risk an outcome that could change everything? Or should I try to let it go, hoping that time will make things easier? Part of me wants answers, but another part of me fears that whatever she says could make things even worse. I’m scared that by addressing it, I’ll lose the friend I thought I’d always have by my side—or worse, that it’ll drive a wedge between Tom and me.

I feel completely lost, and I don’t want to make the wrong decision. Should I talk to Rachel and risk the friendship we’ve built over two decades, or try to put this behind me and focus on my future with Tom?